Episode 38: Embracing Singleness and Dating Myself

Read or Listen 

Hey everyone, it's Ellie Curry here, and welcome back to another exciting episode of the Own Your Confidence podcast! Today, I'm diving deep into a topic that once had me in its grip – the rollercoaster ride of being single. If you've ever felt loneliness or the need for validation through relationships, you're not alone. In this episode, I'm going to take you through my personal journey of discovering the incredible power of self-love.

The Illusion of External Validation

I'll admit it: being single used to scare the heck out of me. I was convinced that having a partner was the magical solution to all my problems. But let's get real – seeking validation instead of genuine connection is not a healthy path. 

A Year of Self-Discovery: My Journey of Dating Myself

Fast forward to 2016, a year of transformation for me. I decided that it was time to confront my fear of being alone and my desperate need for validation. I embarked on a mission – to date myself for an entire year. This wasn't just about going solo; it was a deliberate journey of self-discovery. To document my progress, I started snapping pictures every day, capturing moments where I pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone.

Facing Fears and Shattering Illusions

I had a list of 52 things that terrified me or made me deeply uncomfortable – a personal challenge that would make my growth visible. One of these challenges was facing my ridiculous fear of mascots. Looking back, I can't help but laugh, but at that time, mascots were the epitome of terror for me. However, confronting this fear was an incredible turning point. It showed me that most of the barriers we perceive are largely created in our own minds.

Liberation Through Solitude: Going to the Movies Alone

Another feat I tackled was going to the movies alone. Now, this might sound like a small step, but for me, it was a colossal leap. I remember walking into that theater, my heart pounding, feeling like all eyes were on me, judging me for being there alone. But guess what? No one cared. No one stared. No one even noticed. It was liberating.

Unlocking Self-Love Through Affirmations and Compassion

What these experiences taught me was that my fear of being alone was actually my fear of being alone with my own unkind thoughts. I realized that the validation I was seeking externally was something I needed to cultivate from within. That's where the transformative power of self-love comes into play.

Embracing Singleness as a Path to Self-Love

Through intentional singleness, I learned the art of affirmations. Sticky notes with positive messages became my daily routine, reminding me to be kinder to myself. I started addressing my own emotional needs instead of relying on others to do it for me. It was a revolutionary shift – instead of being my own worst critic, I became my own biggest supporter.

Reframing Dating Standards: From External to Internal Validation

So, what's the takeaway here? Struggling with the idea of being single is absolutely normal, but it's also a fantastic opportunity to rewrite your relationship with yourself. My journey taught me that dating yourself can be a profound act of self-love. It's about learning to navigate the sometimes uncomfortable waters of solitude and replacing self-critique with self-compassion.

Remember, you are in a long term relationship with yourself. Through practicing self-love, affirmations, and meeting your own emotional needs, you can reshape your dating standards, opening doors to healthier, more authentic connections. If you find yourself grappling with the concept of singleness, consider taking the plunge into self-dating. After all, love starts from within, and that's where your true adventure begins. Sending you all my love!

XO,

Ellie Curry