Episode #24: Become The Woman You Have Always Needed

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When I started my personal development journey, I focused on building confidence and creating the lifestyle I desired. However, I realized that amidst all these wants, I was neglecting my needs. In today’s blog post, I want to talk about the importance of fulfilling our own needs and share some insights on how to break the cycle of relying on others to meet those needs.

Breaking The Cycle

Looking back at my own journey, I loved to escape my reality through reading. These young adult novels portrayed a narrative where someone would come and save me, particularly in a romantic context. What I didn't realize was, I was setting myself up for a negative cycle that would persist for a long time. By believing that someone else would fulfill my needs, I neglected to take care of myself.

This mindset led me to believe that I needed a boyfriend to fulfill my needs. However, this placed immense pressure on the people I would date and caused me to stay in unhealthy relationships. I realized that I needed to break free from this cycle and learn how to fulfill my own needs. It was time to take control of my own life and intentionally meet my own needs.

Understanding Your Needs

The first step in fulfilling your needs is to understand what they are. Are you high or low energy? Are you an extrovert or introvert? How much rest do you need? How do you like to take care of yourself? These are important questions to ask yourself and reflect upon. Grab a piece of paper and jot down what you need in various aspects of your life.

Personally, I discovered that I craved words of affirmation from others. I needed to hear that I was good enough. To meet this need, I started giving myself words of affirmation. When I accomplished something, I would stand before a mirror and say, "Wow, I'm really proud of you." It became a routine and a habit that filled the void I felt.

Similarly, when I wish I could snuggle with someone, I created a cozy environment in my bed with multiple pillows and comforters. I would snuggle into the cocoon of my own cuddles while watching a movie or scrolling through social media. These simple acts of meeting my own needs without relying on someone else were powerful in cultivating self-care.

Creating A Support System

Understanding and fulfilling your needs also involves identifying those with whom you can share your emotions safely. It's common to rely on a single person for emotional support, but sometimes they may not fully understand or connect with us. I realized the importance of diversifying my support system and finding friends who truly understood me. Having multiple individuals who can provide emotional support creates a sense of security and reassurance.

By building awareness around our needs and actively meeting them, we become a safe space for ourselves. This is crucial for building confidence and self-love. Showing up for ourselves and providing what we need fosters trust, kindness, and care. It shifts our perception of ourselves from someone who cannot be trusted to someone who genuinely cares and can show up in a meaningful way.

As you embark on your personal development journey, remember to tap into your needs and fulfill them in a way that resonates with you. It's a game-changer that will deepen your self-love and transform your relationship with yourself. By breaking the cycle of relying on others and taking responsibility for meeting our own needs, we become the women we have always needed.

XO,

Ellie Curry